Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize