.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize