Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
