I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
