Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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