So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
