Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
