yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
she woke up with a sticky ear
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
