I like to think it a success when the cops are called
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
there is glitter all over my balls
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize