she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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