i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
did i walk over a car last night?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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