you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
