I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize