New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
All I want is dick and wine.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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