I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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