I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
