i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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