What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
