I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
