Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
