I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
