just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
