I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
