i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
