READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
