The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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