your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize