Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just gift wrapped bread.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
