I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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