so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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