i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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