He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
