you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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