If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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