i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I deserve this hangover.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
