i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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