good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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