I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
