Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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