I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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