so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize