So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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