butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
