ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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