Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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