Need sex. Gaining weight.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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