I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize