Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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