Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
