the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
