I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
