I bet he comes in French.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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