is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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