So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
