we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I deserve this hangover.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize