You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm too high and old for this...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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