so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
