What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He did a backflip because drugs
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
