he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
