i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
