let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
