I'm so fucking centered right now
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
