apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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